Happy Birthday Randall!

Happy Birthday to the most wonderful husband I could wish for! Thank you for being my best friend and constant supporter. Thank you for being such an amazing father to our two beautiful little girls. I love you more and more each year and my love for you has grown more than I knew was possible over the past four weeks as I witness you as a dad to our daughters. Thanks for making us laugh, for making us feel safe and secure and for loving us exactly as you do!

Wishing you a fabulous day to kick off another wonderful year filled with adventure! As you said, you already got the most amazing birthday gift exactly 4 weeks ago today. And it will be a gift that keeps on giving (and taking :)) each and every day.

Randall - We love you! Happy Birthday! Love, Antje, Kenzie, Lexi & Tobi

West Coast Visitors

Besides Omi K and Granny & Papa Gene, Kenzie and Lexi have been lucky enough to have 2 other out of town visitors in their first month ... all the way from the west coast.

Aunt Inken flew in from San Francisco when the girls were only 2 days old. It meant so much to me that my sister came to visit her nieces in those very early days ... despite the fact that she had culinary school final exams on Friday and Monday, meaning that she could be here less than 48 hours. Aunt Inken was so excited about the arrival of her nieces throughout my entire pregnancy and the love that she has for these little girls is overflowing. It was so special for me to see my little sister holding and loving my daughters. Although I can honestly say that before I knew their gender, that I would have been truly happy with whatever gender my babies turned out to be. When I found out that I was having 2 girls there was that extra bit of excitement knowing that they would grow up having a sister and would get to experience that same bond that Inken and I have. As Aunt Inken wrote in a card to her nieces, "Having a sister is an amazing thing and you two are even luckier to be twins and grow up and experience life together." I am so happy that my daughters will always have each other ... their sister.

Thanks Inky Pink for coming to meet the girls so early on. We can't wait for you to come back in May!

Our second West Coast visitor was "Aunt" Tara who was here from Seattle this past weekend. We really miss having Tara, Kevin , Brooke and Gavin just down the street and it was so great to get to see Tara. Tara has given me so much great advice throughout my pregnancy and these first few weeks via the phone and it was so wonderful to see her in person. We hope that the girls get to meet the rest of the Stealey family very soon! Tara - thanks for the visit! Thanks for bringing us lunch and for the adorable oufits for Kenzie & Lexi!

Omi K, we love you to the sky & back!

I am so thankful that my mom (Omi K to the girls) was able to be with us for the first two weeks of the girls lives.

I am so thankful that she was there for the last few days of my pregnancy. She rubbed my back and massaged my feet in those last uncomfortable days. I am so happy that she was there during the entire labor/birth journey... that she was there to help provide comfort during some of the more difficult moments ...that she was able to hold both of her granddaughters when they were only minutes old. I am so thankful that she was there those first two weeks to help support me as I faced many 'new mom' challenges. She cooked us delicious and healthy meals, she reminded me to eat when I was too tired to remember to do so on my own, she provided encouragement when I felt overwhelmed by breastfeeding challenges and crying babies.

Most importantly, I am so thankful that she was here to bond with her granddaughters. She sacrificed sleep to rock them and sing to them in the wee hours of the morning. She was the one with the magic touch that could calm Lexi when nothing else could. She introduced the girls to the music of Pete Seeger, the Beatles and the Beach Boys. She was there to snuggle the girls after their first bath and to help console Kenzie after her jaundice bloodwork at their first doctor's appointment. She was there to love the girls from the very start.

And I must say that I have never felt closer to my mom than I do at this time in my life. We have always been close and she has always been supportive of me in whatever I do. But somehow, now that I have two daughters of my own, I realize just how strong her love for me has been all of these years and it makes me love her even more. I am so thankful that she is my mom and my daughters are so lucky to have her as their Omi.

Mom - we love you to the sky & back! Thank you so much for everything you did during your 2 1/2 weeks here. Miss you so much already!

Chunky Monkeys

I am so happy to report that at their 2 week checkup both Kenzie & Lexi surpased their birth weights! Kenzie now weighs 6 lbs 7oz vs. 6 lbs 6oz at birth and Lexi weighs 6 lbs 5oz vs. 6lbs 1oz at birth. This feels like such an achievement because we have been having such a challenging time with their feedings. I love my little chunky monkeys!

I had planned to exclusively breastfeed the girls, but when the home nurse visited us on Day 4 they had both already lost 10% of their birthweight, so we had to start supplementing their feedings with some formula. At their one week appointment they had started to gain back some weight, but were still below their birth weights. I am still having trouble with my milk supply, so we are now breastfeeding, bottle supplementing, and then pumping at every feeding. It is quite exhausting, but I keep reminding myself that every drop of breastmilk that they get helps build their immunity and will make them healthier and stronger. Hopefully we won't have to continue this routine forever ... we will see how things progress and make whatever decision results in the best mental and physical wellbeing for all of us ;)

In the mean time I am just so happy that my girls are growing. I love their little buddha bellies!

Daddy's Little Darlings

On our first night at home with the girls they were not sleeping at all unless they were being held and rocked. I walked into the nursery at around 6am and found Randall sitting in the glider holding both of his girls and singing them the lullaby below. He had been in there for nearly 3 hours doing this. Loving and bonding with his sweet darlings. I will never forget this moment and I will forever love this song because of that moment.

My Darling by Ryan Tanner

Go back to sleep now, my darling,

and I'll keep all the bad dreams away.

Breathe now, think sweet things,

and I'll think of all the right things to say.

Cause we made you, my darling,

with the love in each of our hearts.

We were a family, my darling,

right from the start.

Grow up now, my darling,

but please don't you grow up too fast.

Be sure, my darling, to make all the good times last.

Cause we made you, my darling,
with the love in each of our hearts.
We were a family, my darling,
right from the start.

We were a family, my darling,

right from the start.

"I Gotta Feeling that Tonight's Gonna be a Good Night..."

Note: I started this post the morning of March 3, 2010 - the girls' birthday. Things progressed faster with the induction than I expected and I never did get around to completing the post until now.

I heard this Black Eyed Peas song on my way home from work the evening that I planned to take a pregnancy test back in the beginning of July and I said a prayer that it would indeed be a good night. And after so many months of disappointment, it turned out to be a VERY good night. When we saw that "PREGNANT" reading we couldn't believe it ... I ended up taking 3 tests to confirm it. We were so thankful that our prayers had been answered ... it was a feeling of pure joy and excitement.
Well, I have a feeling that tonight is going to be another very good night. We are heading into the hospital right now and I am going to be induced. I am once again filled with joy and excitement .. and of course feelings of anxiousness. We will listen to this song on the way to the hospital as it reminds me of the wonderful journey that we have been on together since that evening in July and the next chapter of our journey which will start today.

It was indeed a good night ... Mckenna Grace was born at 6:20pm and Alexandra Cate was born at 6:22pm.

Days 1 through 10

I will capture their complete birth story at some point, but in the mean time I am going to record some key highlights and moments from the girls first 10 days that I don't want to forget.

Mckenna Grace "Kenzie":
- You came out screaming (what a relief) and they placed you directly on my belly and I got to give you a kiss. Then Daddy got to hold you before they took you to be checked out.
- Your features resemble Daddy but you have lighter/less hair.
- Your eyes are the color of blueberries.
- You have a bit of jaundice, but thankfully not enough to require a billi blanket.
- You are very sleepy and snuggly and a very peaceful sleeper (not sure if this is due to your jaundice). I have to work to keep you awake while you are nursing.
- You have a very unique cry when you are very upset - it ends with a high pitched screech.
- You enjoyed your first attempt at tummy time.
- You were the first to lose your umbilical cord on Day 9.
- You were the first to grab onto mommy’s hair while nursing.

Alexandra Cate "Lexi":
- You "walked" right out of the womb since you were born breech. You gave us a bit of a scare as you were limp and silent, so they had to take you right away to make sure everything was ok.
- You have been wide eyed and alert ever since that moment. You are constantly checking everything out. You fight going to sleep.
- You had a furrowed brow when you were born (just like your Mommy did, maybe because your sister had been kicking you in the head inside the womb) and you still make some very serious faces - definitely a deep thinker.
- Your features resemble your mom but you have long dark hair like your daddy.
- You also have blueberry eyes.
- You have long/strong legs and very big feet.
- You had a “traumatic” first bath – right when Mommy and Daddy were getting ready to dry you off, you decided it was time for a huge poop and it got everywhere … all over your legs, your back, the mesh tub … so we had to repeat the entire bath.

- You both love being swaddled.
- When you are not swaddled, you love sleeping snuggled next to each other in the same crib.
- Best of all, you both love lying on Mommy and Daddy's chest.

Some of my Favorite Moments:
- On our second night in the hospital I was breastfeeding you both at the same time and you were totally in-sync. You were sucking at the exact same rate, would startle at the exact same time and sigh in unison. Such strong evidence of your twin bond.
- Driving home from the hospital it struck me and I cried tears of joy. We have wanted you for so long and here we were actually going home from the hospital as a family of four.
- Watching Daddy rocking and singing lullabies to his two little girls in the middle of the night. I have never felt such strong love.
- Watching Tobi get to know his little sisters. He is very protective of them already. He brings us “gifts” (his toys) while I am nursing them. When the girls are in different rooms he paces back and forth between the two, keeping watch.
- I love watching the girls together – while they haven’t really “discovered” each other yet, there are times when they are nursing and they stare into each others eyes. Or when they are napping together and snuggle closer into each other. I love knowing that they will always have each other.

I sure do love you girls - and its only been 10 days :)

Oh the places you'll go ...

Dear Bean & Sprout,

Tomorrow is going to be a big day - your birthday. I'm not sure if it is possible for me to express all of the emotions that I am feeling today, knowing that tomorrow we will finally get to welcome you to the world. I have so enjoyed our journey together over the past 40 weeks with you growing inside my belly ... but am now so anxious to get to hold you both in my arms, to gaze into your eyes, to breathe in your baby smells, to get to know every crevice of your little bodies. I am so excited to be your mother!

I have so many hopes and dreams for both of you and want you both to know that I will support you in anything you want to do. I will be your biggest cheerleader in life (maybe tied with your Daddy). Most importantly, I just pray that you will both be healthy and happy - tomorrow and throughout your lives. I want you to have a joy for life and to dream big, and I promise to support you as you follow your dreams.

In the book 'The Last Lecture', Randy Pausch mentioned that he "won the parent lottery." I think this is the highest compliment that a parent could receive from their child and it is something that I will strive for. I not only want to be a good parent, but I want you both to feel that you are truly lucky to have me as your mom. I will not only support you, provide guidance and discipline, but I want us to be great friends - to be silly and have fun together.

I can't believe that you have grown from 2 tiny embryos into two beautiful girls that I will get to hold in my arms tomorrow. I look forward to watching you continue to grow - from newborns, to toddlers, to little girls, to strong and confident women. What an amazing journey we are about to embark on as a family. It is truly miraculous and I thank God every day for this. The world awaits you and I can't wait to see "the places you'll go!"

"Before you were conceived I wanted you ... before you were born I loved you." - MAUREEN HAWKINS

I can't imagine the love that I will feel when I get to meet you both tomorrow. I can't wait to share this experience with Randall ... It will surely be a moment that will take our breaths away.

Love you to the sky & back forever.

Your Mommy

Update: I went to the doctor yesterday morning because I was nervous that I hadn't felt one of the babies move since Saturday night and I had a bad headache since Sunday afternoon. My blood pressure was slightly elevated and they couldn't initially find Bean's heartbeat, so they sent us to a specialist for a non-stress test. Thankfully, everything checked out ok but they feel that it is best to deliver the babies sooner rather than later. So if they don't come on their own beforehand I am scheduled for an induction at 4:30 am tomorrow morning. Thanks for keeping us in your thoughts & prayers!