{my little preschoolers - the first week}

 The girls woke up early on Monday, excited for their first day of preschool.  “I go to school today!” Kenzie shouted.  They brushed their teeth, ate breakfast and put on their “school dress and shoes.”  They even cooperated and let Sara and mommy take some pictures.  They happily marched to the car with their backpacks on.  When we got to school they walked in with confidence and showed Sara where their room is.  They were the first ones there.  They said hello to their teachers, gave Myrtle the Turtle a good morning kiss and then immediately started playing at the play dough station.  A few minutes later another little girl in their class arrived and she joined them at the play dough station.  They were happy and occupied so it was time for Sara and I to depart.  “Have fun girls!  Mommy and Sara will be back soon!”  That’s when Kenzie looked at me with panic stricken eyes that said, “Wait? You’re leaving?!?”

She ran over to me and clung to my leg and the tears started flowing. That’s when Lexi started to cry. I really think that Lexi would have been fine, had her sister not been crying but she decided to join in. I tried to distract Kenzie by taking her over to the car/truck station that had interested her the day before, but she had no interest. She had huge tears running down her face and when I tried to set her down she refused. The teachers decided to divide and conquer. One taking Kenzie and one taking Lexi. “Don’t worry, they will settle down in just a few minutes,” they said. And so Sara and I left and walked down the hall to the room where they had coffee set up for the parents and caregivers since on the first day they would only stay for one hour. I could hear them both wailing as I walked down the hall. I kept it together, although I too wanted to cry.


Of course the other 2 students that were in the classroom at the time were perfectly fine. And although I had anticipated that it might be difficult for Kenzie given her shyness around new people and situations and her recent separation anxiety it didn’t make it any easier. Why were my girls the only ones crying? What could I have done to make them more confident and better prepared for this day? They are used to not being with me all day, they are used to going to music, gymnastics and storytime … but they aren’t used to being left. No matter where we go, someone has always stayed with them and the few times we have tried to leave them – at the nursery at church or the daycare at the gym – they have cried. Perhaps I should have gotten them used to this sooner. But as a full time working mom, I enjoy spending my non-working time with my girls and I don’t want to drop them off somewhere if it is going to make them sad. So I never pushed it and therefore on their first day of pre-school they cried.

I sat in the coffee hour room and made small talk with Sara and a few of the other moms … but the whole time my mind was with my girls and my heart was aching. Surely they must have settled down by now. Oh, how I hope that they are having fun. About 45 minutes through the hour my phone rang. A number I did not recognize. I answered. It was Mrs. Berry. “I am not calling because I want you to come back. I just wanted to prepare you and let you know that both girls are still very upset.” I could hear them screaming in the background. My heart raced. My poor babies. I wanted to run to get them and comfort them, but I made myself wait for 10 more minutes.

When Sara and I went back to the classroom and peeked in the window, Lexi had stopped crying and was sitting in her teacher’s lap in a circle with the other children and they were singing and playing instruments. Her face was still blotchy, evidence of her 50 minutes of tears but she had a smile on her face. Kenzie on the other hand was laying face down on her belly right in front of the door kicking and screaming. She cried for the full hour. I gently opened the door and when Kenzie saw who it was she jumped into my arms and fresh tears started flowing. “It’s ok. I told you we would come back, honey,” I said to Kenzie. “ I am so sorry,” I said to the teacher. “It’s ok,” said Mrs. Berry, “it just takes some kids some time to get used to it.” And then (horror of all horrors for a mom when her kids are starting school) she continued, “my only concern, is that she tried to bite me.” Great, my child cried the ENTIRE first day AND tied to bite the teacher. Parental fail.

It was the VERY first day I told myself. It would get better. We talked up school for the rest of the day…. how exciting tomorrow would be because they would get to paint and go out to the playground and meet new friends. How they couldn’t cry because then they would miss out on all of these fun things. That they didn’t have to worry because Sara or mommy or daddy would always come pick them up once school was over. I reinforced that while they may be upset that it is never okay to bite or hit anyone. I was giving them a pep-talk but really I think it was more for me. Tomorrow they would go to school for the full 3 hours. What if they cried for the full three hours? I couldn’t bear the thought. I wished that Randall was home and not in Miami for work. Surely Daddy would know the right things to say to energize his girls about school.

We decided that the next morning Sara would drop off the girls on her own. That perhaps it would be easier if I wasn’t there. After drop-off Sara texted me to say that they were happy when they got there and started playing immediately so she snuck out. But another mom came out into the hallway and told her that as soon as they realized that she had left that they were asking for her and that Kenzie started crying. Sara hung out in the hall for a while and could hear Kenzie screaming and Lexi crying. One of the teachers came out and told her to leave, that they would be ok.

I was a nervous wreck at the office after receiving this text … eating chocolate at 9:30am … then at 10am my phone rang. It was the same number that had called me yesterday. My heart sank .. I thought that surely they were calling to tell me that we had to come pick Kenzie up or that she bit someone. “Hello?” I questioned. “Hi this is Mrs. Berry. Don’t worry, I’m calling with good news. I just wanted to let you know that both girls settled down and are now playing happily with the other kids.” Yay! What a relief! I could breathe … and stop eating chocolate.

I was so proud of my girls that I decided to surprise them by picking them up from school and taking them to lunch. When they came out of their classroom they had shy smiles on their face and played it quite cool when they saw mommy & Sara. They ran and got their backpacks out of their cubbies and we walked out hand in hand. On the way to lunch I asked the girls about their day, but didn’t get much of a response. Apparently the highlight was when “Mrs. “Pop pop” (Putman) gave us magic soap (hand sanitizer) when we said bye-bye.” Let’s hope that changes over time, but I’ll settle for that and 2 smiling girls at the end of day 2.

While day 2 was a vast improvement over day 1, I was still anxious about day 3. I was hopeful that they would start the day without tears, but didn’t want to be overly optimistic. I got a text from a friend whose daughter goes to the same school but is in a different class saying, “Saw the girls at drop off. They were grinning and waving. Hope that’s a good sign.” But then I got a text from Sara, ”Drop off didn’t go any easier. K was fine and talked about how I was going to leave all morning and then when we got in the classroom they both wouldn’t leave my side even to play so I could sneak out. They started to cry and the teachers said to go, that they would be fine. Luckily we know they calmed themselves down yesterday and had fun! Fingers crossed.” So for the next 3 hours I was anxious. No phone call from the teacher. Is this a good or bad sign? Oh how I wish that I had a “classroom cam” so that I could watch them and see how they are doing. I am sure there will be many many times in their lives that I will wish this. I know that I need to let them go, let them live and learn. That they will be alright. But they are only 2 ½… they are still babies … so it is hard … and I am sure it will always be hard because they will be MY babies forever. Those 3 hours seemed like an eternity. Then I got this test just as I was heading into a big meeting,” The girls did great! I saw one of the other moms before pickup and she said they weren’t even crying when she dropped off her son. And the teacher said they only cried for a minute.” Yay! I felt like doing cartwheels in the office. I was so proud of my girls.

So they survived week one of pre-school … AND I survived week one of preschool with Randall out of town. I hope next week will be easier and that the girls will enjoy it, but I am not counting on it just yet. When the girls woke up on Thursday morning Kenzie said, “I no want to go to preschool today.” Thankfully, I was able to say, “That’s ok. You don’t have school today. You are off until Monday.” “School’s closed?” Kenzie asked? “Yes, school is closed today.” I replied. “Good!” affirmed Kenzie. Oh, how I hope the day will come when she is sad that school is closed. I remember loving school when I was little. I hope that my sweet girls will feel the same …that they will learn with joy! But for now, I am proud of how far they came during the course of the first week and look forward to seeing what next week holds.

I am also hoping that everyone is feeling better before going back to school on Monday. Unfortunately the girls were sick with colds before even starting school. They had such bad coughs that they could barely sleep and were coughing to the point of throwing up. They had no fever or other symptoms, until Lexi complained that her ears hurt on Wednesday. So I took them to the doctor on Thursday and they are now on antibiotics for an ear infection. Poor girls. Starting school while sleep deprived and not feeling well … triple whammy and a lot for two 2 years olds and one mommy to handle. But we survived and next week I hope we will do more than survive :)

I am writing this on my way to Miami to meet Randall for a little weekend getaway to celebrate our 8 year anniversary which is later this month. Sara is staying with the girls for the weekend (I am so grateful for this, as I’m sure it has been a rough week for her as well with 2 grumpy girls!). While I am very much looking forward to some adult only time with Randall and hope to catch up on some sleep, I am always a bit anxious about leaving the girls. I hope that they have a great weekend with Sara and aren’t too rough on her :)