struggles of a working mom

I have been back to work for over a full year now. And while we have our routine down, have a super nanny that we feel 100% confident leaving the girls with, and I have a pretty good work/life balance … it does not make it any easier leaving my girls every day. Part of me aches to spend my days with them. When Sara texts me pictures of the girls throughout the week it brings a smile to my face, but also pangs at my heart (don’t stop sending pics if you are reading this Sara – I love receiving them :)). I should be the one who is taking them to feed the ducks at Eden Park for the first time. I want to be there riding on the train with them at the zoo and to witness Lexi say “tur-tle” for the first time. I long to see them develop their skills at gymnastics and music class every week. I should be there to snuggle them when they aren’t feeling well and discipline them as they are becoming more opinionated and strong willed. It is these ordinary moments that bring me such joy, and I hate to be missing out on so many of them throughout the week because I am at work.



On the other hand, I do enjoy my work (I like the challenge, I like the adult interaction, I like the fact that my paycheck affords us nice vacations, nice things – but is any of this equal to the pure joy of those everyday moments?). I also wonder whether I would be good at being a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom). Would I have the patience and the energy to be with the girls every day? Would I still get the same amount of joy from those ordinary moments if they happened 24/7? Would the girls be missing out on development opportunities by being with me all day every day? Would I ever be ok not working, or would I want to be a WFHM (work-from-home-mom) … only to deal with the same struggle all over again…. SIGH … so many thoughts …

I imagine this is the struggle of every working mother. But for some reason this struggle has become more of a burden for me over the last few weeks. Maybe it is because I have been particularly busy and stressed at work. Maybe it is because the girls seem to be developing exponentially and I am afraid that I may miss something entirely just by being away at work for the day. I don’t know… I don’t have the answers but thought it might help clear my head to get this out there (if anyone does have the answer or any advice please let me know). In the mean time I will continue with our routine and will enjoy each and every ordinary moment that I get to share with the girls each evening and every weekend.

Last night’s favorite moments included a pre-bathtime dance party turned sister giggle-fest and bathtime sillies, captured here via my iPhone:





This week I get the added bonus of getting to spend all Friday with the girls as Sara has the day off. Looking forward to a full day with just my girls. Love them!